Ah well. At least Captain Marvel has one unique distinction. Several commentators have criticised the commodification of IWD and the emphasis on projects such as these media launches over raising awareness of more serious issues affecting women globally.
All these things played earnestly as these characters bond with one another drives the stakes up in a way that we haven't quite seen in many Marvel films before. For the film's world premiere in London last week, Larson wore a custom blue and gold Valentino gown and then wore a custom Rodarte star-studded dress at the film's Los Angeles premiere, both giving a nod to Captain Marvel's uniform.
The idea that good people sometimes do awful things is grist for the dramatic mill in the Marvel universe, and Larson's superhero is set to become just as morally complex as her better-known, mostly male, peers.
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My mom read Marvel comics when she was a kid, before she was crowded out of the space by those narrow, gendered expectations that encouraged girls to be flight attendants rather than fighter pilots.
While speaking recently to Entertainment Tonight about the sound and fury Carol's bringing to the MCU, Samuel L. Jackson explained how Captain Marvel establishes just what its hero's powers are so that audiences will understand how it is that she's able to fight Thanos.
One element does fulfil the film's female-empowerment hype.
She's even used the Captain Marvel press tour to quip about the patriarchy that is "ringing on [her] parade".
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But these trolls are excited for the film to be released so they can see a wave of perfectly legitimate critics take their side, solidifying their position that the first female-led Marvel film is bad... and that Marvel shouldn't ever do this again.
"My style is going to be different - sometimes its super flows and feminine, sometimes its really hard and tough, sometimes I want to wear a suit, sometimes I want to wear something baggy", she said.
These past settings may not just be for plot reasons. We were exhausted at the end of the day, we had a bunch of people on set... It is nearly as if the studios are embarrassed of the fact and are trying to retrofit their past so that by the time the series reach the present day, the cinematic universes will have plenty of female superheroes fighting alongside their male counterparts.
Rotten Tomatoes was already inundated by negative reviews for Captain Marvel... written by people who haven't even watched the movie. Right now we're looking for the film to perform somewhere around $1.3 million for the weekend, which very well could be enough for a top ten finish. The film could have also settled for being a mostly middling entry in the MCU, but it instead - oh, wait, scratch that. For all of their success, however, Marvel has endured a bit of criticism for centering all of their films around male heroes.
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Directed by indie film-making duo Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck, Captain Marvel is the 21st instalment in the series of Marvel blockbusters that began with 2008's Iron Man. I always felt that the things I was feeling, only I was feeling them, so I started making movies as a way to express those things and they're like messages in a bottle. Soy's Captain Marvel is power incarnate. Within the superhero genre, it's likely to lead to more. Bening is ideal, with a wise but sly twinkle in her eye. Carol Danvers should be more interesting and her emergence as the Universe's most powerful superhero should be more fun.